I am not known to be an incredibly patient person, after all I am from New Jersey, that is why I believe digital photography appealed to me so…the instant gratification aspect. In this day and age when a person can snap a photo and immediately “ape” at the results in the viewfinder on their camera, what is attractive about film to instant gratification girl? ( I guess I should explain this very technical term of “Ape-ing”. The word was created in this digital age to describe the noise people make when previewing images on their camera…”OOO OOO OOO”)
Over the holidays I received a gift of a Rolleiflex camera…a FILM camera…ME the impatient digital girl who shoots hundreds of images a day….a FILM camera??!! Of course I did not exclaim these facts out loud to my husband as he handed me this camera with a face full of anticipation. He being a gadget guy, with the patience of an angel, only wishing to share his love of film photography with me.
I smiled politely and set out quietly in my studio to figure out how I could perhaps make a device to shoot with my digital camera THROUGH the view finder of the analogue Rollei and never ACTUALLY put film in it. I mean, how would I ever have the patience needed to wait for someone else to process my images. What if they were damaged or lost….how could I trust my work to someone else. (yes, I know…serious trust and control issues). HOW could “Instant Gratification Laura” work with this new tool handed to her and be gracious about it.
Several weeks later and after several failed TTV (through the view finder) attempts, my husband patiently loaded FILM into the camera and placed it into my impatient hands. It even frustrated me that I couldn’t even load my own camera….how was this ever going to work. How could I make this little funny box of a camera bend to my will. Perhaps he will be happy if I just used it a few times and went back to my Canon DIGITAL camera.
Deep into a forest we frequent, traveled slowly, Clover dog, my husband, myself and my new frustrating friend…Rollei. I just kept telling myself to at least attempt something new. Who knows, if I would just be open to this new thing, this change…what might I learn from the experience.
It just all felt so foreign. I look where?? I turn what??!! UGH, just when I would get everything in order and get that little green light meaning all was OK to go…my breath steady…I depress the shutter button..NOTHING….UGH, ##)#@#$…and even more expletives would come forth from my mouth when I realized I had forgotten to wind the camera to the next frame! Somewhere down the path I would hear a low giggle as my husband chuckled at my frustration.
By the days end and 4 rolls of film, 12 frames each roll of black and white film…literally in the can. We hopped back into the car, there I sat with the camera in my lap…itching for the ability to “ape” at the days images. HOW could I ever learn to like waiting. Later, in the bathroom/ homemade dark room, I listened and learned as my husband explained the times and the chemicals. Inside all the while asking myself…WHY would I turn back the clock like this on photography…isn’t THIS whole mess the reason the craft had moved to a more modern age? What was I hoping to learn from all this?
Opening the stainless steel can and unspooling the rolled film was like unwrapping a precious gift….was this the precious gift of patience that I was to learn with this funny little camera? Like two kids, faces full of excitement we held the freshly developed film up to the light…THERE we both yelled….IT WORKED! Like an etching, soft little lines of shadow and light…all the precious things we captured on the days walk of discovery.
It did take 3 days to discover just what my Rollei wanted to shoot, how to gingerly coax her to speak with me about what was her best subjects. We also learned much about our developing and processing which of course will continue to grow and develop as time passes and we keep shooting.
Rollei was a wedding anniversary gift…and a successful one at that. It bought together two very different people, much like a marriage does. One with patience, and one who needed to learn this skill. One who freely created with one who loved the technical side.
Well, I started this blog to tell you basically about my journey to patience through this simple camera, but as is my way…I took it a bit on a tangent. This brings me to a point, I seem to be having a bit of a personality conflict for this blog. Should it be about photography, my crazy rambling philosophy, wandering….people have suggested more about how I take photos, of the antics I go through to get an image. So, I thought I would throw it out to you all. What are you more interested in? If you wouldn’t mind sending me a quick note telling me what you think, I would most appreciate it.
So, get out and do something that frustrates and challenges you today…I hope it teaches you something as this camera has taught me.
by lthek
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